I am doing something brave.
I am letting you in on my personal journal time with myself and God. This was only a few days ago that I was feeling disappointed. I was uncertain if I'd be able to have my wedding in July and we needed to start making decisions on several things. I had a choice to make. Either I could worry and be stuck in a place that I couldn't control or I could surrender and watch God being God. Choosing to let God be God lead me to hope. Speaking of hope, I pray and hope this encourages you.
I am sad and disappointed. I know I am not going to understand why this pandemic came and disrupted so many plans people had this year. Selfishly, it's disrupting may once in a lifetime experience, my wedding. I know I am among many other brides. I am just really sad.
"Why me Lord?", I ask. . . but really, why not me? I wouldn't wish this on anyone's day. God I need you to come and comfort my heart. I need my Daddy.
God, how am I suppose to handle this situation?
Every time I face disappointment, I always jump to Romans 8. God , you are above the law. You can accomplish things that us humans connot. The mind-set of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the Spirit finds life and peace.
God, where and what is the mindset of the Spirit in this situation?
In verse 7 it says, "the mind-set focused on the flesh fights God's plan and refuses to submit to his direction because it cannot for no matter how hard they try, God finds no pleasure with those who are controlled by the flesh. But when the Spirit of Christ empowers your life, you are not dominated by the flesh but by the Spirit."
Verse 13 "for when you live controlled by the flesh you are about to die. but if the life of the Spirit puts to death the corrupt ways of the flesh, we then taste his abundant life."
Verse 16 "You are God's beloved child. we qualify to share all his treasures. We will experience being co-glorified with him provided that we accept his sufferings as our own."
Verse 18 " I am convinced that any suffering we endure is less than nothing compared to the magnitude of glory that is about to be unveiled within us."
Verse 24 "Hope means that we must trust and wait for what is still unseen."
Verse 26 "The Holy Spirit takes hold of us in our human frailty to empower us in our weakness. At times we don't even know how to pray or know what the best things to ask for, but the Holy Spirit rises up within us to super-intercede on our behalf, pleading before God for us, his holy ones, in perfect harmony with God's plan ad our destiny."
Verse 28 "So, we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God's perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose."
Verse 31 "So, what odes all of this mean? If God has determined to stand with us, tell me, who then could ever stand against us? For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his son. and since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won't withhold from us anything else he has to give."
Verse 37 " Yet, even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors."
God, I surrender. I surrender and lay down my wedding at your feet. I lay down and surrender what my dream day should look like. I give it to you, Lord. I fully accept what you would have for me. for I know it's better than what I could ever imagined. I have a choice to partner with you or not. either way, you will have your way. I'd rather be with you than against you. but Lord, on hard days, please just comfort me because it's hard.