There have been days where I don't love myself. But I recall a season of my life, like I am talking a good eight months of hating myself. I have made one of the biggest mistakes of my life that resulted in major consequences I had to deal with. Every day I had to face those consequences and every day I had a million of reasons why I deserved my self-hate.
Thanks to my family, they pushed me to go see a counselor. At that time, I didn't want to go to God, I didn't want to talk to friends, I didn't want to see my family. The shame and guilt hurt too badly. But I was willing to go see a counselor and the first thing she told me was this "Janelle, you so badly wanted someone to love you without conditions, why don't you start with loving yourself without conditions?"
I want to share with you 5 simple ways to love yourself when you feel like you don't deserve it. Beginning to love yourself without conditions, just because is a journey to self-love like you would have never imagined.
So here we go!
NUMBER ONE: Write 5 positive affirmations about yourself
Because we are not perfect humans, we have flaws. And because we see ourselves make mistake after mistakes, it's hard to show unconditional love towards ourselves. Even if you don't feel like it, or believe it right now, write out 5 positive affirmations about yourself.
Here's some examples to help you get started:
- I am enough.
- I can do all things.
- I am strong enough to endure.
- I am worth it.
- I don't have to be perfect. It's okay to be me.
- I deserve unconditional love.
- God loves me just the way I am.
Do you know how you can keep telling yourself a lie and eventually you start believing the lie? Well, tell yourself the opposite. Tell yourself the truth and keep telling yourself the truth until you believe it.
NUMBER TWO: Cook a nutritious meal with lots of color.
On days where I feel stressed or full of self-hate, food is the last thing on my mind. Sometimes, I feel like I deserve not to eat as a form of punishment. Instead of caving into the negative mindset, fix yourself a well balanced meal. Foods filled with vitamins, minerals, nutrients helps bring clarity to your mind, gives you energy and strength to face whatever struggle, physical or emotional, you are dealing with. You are deciding to treat your body with kindness just because you exist. That is loving yourself unconditionally.
NUMBER THREE: Listen to inspirational or dance party music.
Two words: music therapy. Researchers have proven that positive music helps improve moods and mindsets. Positive music releases endorphins and the feel good hormones into the body. I personally love to listen to worship or gospel music to reminding me who I am in Christ and that God sees me worthy. I am also a huge fan of pop music like "Happy" by Pharrell.
NUMBER FOUR: Go on a nature walk with beautiful scenery.
Taking a nice 30 minute walk outside in nature automatically reduces anxiety, stress, depression and makes you happy. It is outside where you could learn how to overcome adversity. Breathing fresh air into your lungs brings more self-awareness to your mind, giving yourself a break from the negative self-talk.
AND NUMBER FIVE: Look back at pictures of yourself from your childhood.
For me, it's hard to be negative towards myself when I look back at the younger me. Pictures can say a thousand words. Looking at yourself playing, laughing, loving and being loved on, great memories, it puts a smile on your face. Just for a moment, you remember that you are lovable and maybe you can start believing that again.
Now, commit. Commit over the next seven days that you will practice one of these patterns of self-love actions. Show yourself unconditional love. I am here for you cheer you one. Email me (Janelle@lovingmehealthy.com) if you feel stuck. I will help you. You can do this my friend. It's so worth it because you are worth it. n